Empty
I was reminded yesterday of another reason I want to home school. Malachi was quite troubled when he came home from school that day. Laying his head in my lap, and taking his time to bring forth the words that matched the pain in his glistening eyes, he finally told me that the big boys at his lunch table were making fun of the notes I write to him in his lunch bag. Particularly that I sign them love Mama, xo
They told him he was a baby and made up a song about how his mama gives him hugs and kisses etc.
I must admit I burned with anger inside. How dare these boys make fun of something my child holds dear. How dare they creep into the fabric of our family and alter how Kai views things and how we do things! After talking with Kai about it, he decided he still wanted the notes but asked that I refrain from the x's and o's.
And so tonight as I just finished packing his lunch and tucking in a special note from Mama, I painfully left the spot that the hugs and kisses once occupied empty.
As I did, I wondered if those kids that were poking fun were empty themselves.I wondered if there will be an emptiness Kai will feel tomorrow when he notices the lack of xo's.
I realized I am not ready to let other children and other families shape who my child is, and who he will become.
Is this the socialization that is so important for Kai to experience in this world?
This world is full of empty people, I will not let them spill over into our lives.
They told him he was a baby and made up a song about how his mama gives him hugs and kisses etc.
I must admit I burned with anger inside. How dare these boys make fun of something my child holds dear. How dare they creep into the fabric of our family and alter how Kai views things and how we do things! After talking with Kai about it, he decided he still wanted the notes but asked that I refrain from the x's and o's.
And so tonight as I just finished packing his lunch and tucking in a special note from Mama, I painfully left the spot that the hugs and kisses once occupied empty.
As I did, I wondered if those kids that were poking fun were empty themselves.I wondered if there will be an emptiness Kai will feel tomorrow when he notices the lack of xo's.
I realized I am not ready to let other children and other families shape who my child is, and who he will become.
Is this the socialization that is so important for Kai to experience in this world?
This world is full of empty people, I will not let them spill over into our lives.
posted by Karen | 1:36 PM
1 Comments:
I read your blog regularly, but from a feed readers, so I don't generally comment, but I had to here..
The first thing I thought when reading your post was a deep sadness for those other boys. Do they not have mamas that hold them and kiss them, that tell them how wonderful they are?
My son is just in preschool and will be going to a public kindergarten next year. The other day I bought a packet of special notes for in his lunch box, anticipating mornings when I may be too frantic to write a note in my own hand.
I don't want anyone to steal those moments from us, but more than that I am sad for these other boys who apparently have never had that.
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